Not all who wander are lost

While I have seen and heard J.R.R. Tolkien’s quote “Not all those who wander are lost” many times, I recently came across it again at a women’s international event that I attended earlier this month and it’s been on my mind ever since.

I have been thinking about this quote a lot. Firstly, I think it’s a reminder that I needed as I continue on my coaching journey to give myself permission to continue exploring new coaching methods and be open and it’s something that so many others need to hear as well.

At times it feels like through our whole life we are advised to pick a path and that we must stay on that path. It can feel scary to put yourself out there and try something new. Our brains are wired to resist change, and we certainly get messages often that we shouldn’t explore too much because “what will people think?” or “how will it look to others?” So often we get caught up in worrying about what others will think that we forget to listen to ourselves.

Is that how you want to spend your life?

I remember entering the workforce thinking that I had it all figured out. I studied business and my plan was to move up the corporate ladder and thought it would make me happy. I would interview intern candidates who had already had multiple internships in different functional areas of a company. I used to view it as a negative and thought it represented a lack of focus or clarity on their part but as I’ve grown older my perspective has completely shifted and now, I wish I had done the same thing.

While for many people staying on the same path is right for them (no judgement about this whatsoever) but for many it’s not. For many of us, life happens and all of a sudden you are forced to change.  Slowly you realize you are no longer the same person you were.  It can be disorienting and disheartening when it first happens.

I am re-reading William Bridges “Transitions” book, and it reminded me that being in a place of transition can feel hard. You go from being so sure about your life and career and then all of a sudden, something happens to change it all.

Whether a change is forced upon you or chosen, giving yourself the time and space to explore thoughtfully can be one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself. In the spaces of exploration, we discover who we really are, what we like and don’t like and what matters to us the most. We build resilience, grit and gain clarity. All of this can take time, and it can be hard to persevere through the transition period.

If you are struggling to give yourself permission to explore or you are feeling impatient, here are somethings to ask yourself and consider:

1)      What do you need to let go of to give yourself permission to explore?

2)      What are you being drawn to? Is it a new career path or a new hobby?

3)      Whose voice is stopping you from pursuing what you want? And what does YOUR gut tell you is the right decision or path?

4)      If it’s someone else’s voice that is preventing you, like a family member or loved one, do you want to let that person dictate your life? What will allow you to let that go?

5)      Change and clarity take time. It’s not a process that can always be rushed.

6)      You will get to a more comfortable and clearer place with time

If you find yourself considering a transition or big change, I encourage you to do a lot of reflection on what matters to YOU. Not what your loved ones or friends or some influencer on social media is telling you to do. Only YOU know what is best in your life. Trust yourself.

When we learn to tune into our own voice and drown out the opinions of others, it’s amazing what we find out about ourselves.

Happy Exploring!