These days with so much information infiltrating our minds from the news, social media, podcasts and loved ones, it’s easy to forget to listen to ourselves and what WE really want instead of what others think or want for us.
I don’t know about you, but I am constantly bombarded with opinions from others even when I didn’t ask for it. We are all guilty of this, me included.
It’s no wonder we get lost amongst all of the voices telling us what to do with our lives. When you are feeling unsure, lost or things are changing around you so quickly, it’s normal to ask for opinions from friends and loved ones, but it is a fine line as what people share comes with their own biases. Many times, the advice someone gives may be what is right for them or what they want for you, but not necessarily what’s best for you or what you want. People generally mean well, but it’s not always helpful and at times can lead you down paths that you don’t really want.
If you are struggling to hear you own voice and figure out what you really want in your life or career, I recommend a few things:
1) Journaling- set a timer for 5-10 minutes (if you are new to journaling aim for a shorter time). Ask yourself the question, what do I want my life/career to look like?
Write down whatever comes to your mind. Don’t judge yourself, interpret as you write or stop yourself until the timer dings. Keep writing even if the writing moves away from the initial prompt. You may be surprised with what comes out. It’s amazing the wisdom we have inside ourselves when we actually take a moment to stop and listen.
2) Pay attention to your body- When you hear advice from someone, reflect on what you feel in your body. Do you find yourself leaning into the idea and getting excited or do you feel resistance?
I believe we all know what we want deep down but sometimes we are too afraid to listen to it. It may mean making tough choices or changes that we may not be ready for.
OR
We get so caught up in people pleasing and making others happy that we just go along with what others think instead of listening to ourselves. I have struggled with this a lot myself. It takes practice and active work to get there but learning to let go of what will make others happy can be very freeing and helpful.
3) Mediation- this may not be for everyone but if you are into mediation, it could be good to try meditating around a specific topic such as what you want to do with your career.
4) Find stories of people who broke the mold and took a different path. There are plenty of examples of this in movies, podcasts and books. Someone else’s path could help inspire you and help you find the courage to pursue the path you want.
Sometimes it takes time to find who we really are and what we want. There are so many layers of expectations forced upon us every day.
In the United States, we are sold the “American Dream.” If you are married, have kids, own a home, have a stable job and have a dog, you WILL be happy. We are told you must be married by X age; you must have kids and you must do it by X age and that is the formula for happiness. Guess what?!, that is not always the case. There are plenty of people out there who have followed that formula, and they are miserable.
Maybe that is the right path for you and if so great and I hope it brings you a lifetime of happiness. But if it’s not, you owe it to yourself to at least explore what a different path might look like.
If this post has inspired you in some way, I would love to hear from you! Please feel free to send me a message.
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